Diari Adam Uwais

Assalamualaikum and Hi.

Alhamdulillah pejam celik pejam celik dah 6 bulan dah Muhamamd Adam Uwais ummi ayah ni. We love you baby boo muah.

Hobi Adam Uwais ialah photobomb gambaq ummi sobs. Pantang nampak camera takpun handphone mula la dia buat muka la lompat sana lompat sini. Jenis tak berapa mesra kamera. Jual mahal lettew :P

So aku sebenarnya dah start kasi Uwais makan sejak umur 5 bulan setengah nak masuk 6 bulan. Tapi aku tak kasi la makanan manis ke ape ke, aku kasi Puree Buah. Takpun aku kasi Bubur Nasi. 

SELAIN DARIPADA PUREE KE BUBUR NASI KE TOLONG JANGAN SUAP ADAM UWAIS. Acewah macam la ada yang nak suap anak hang Nufa oi. 

Peringatan siap siap. Takut la kadang kes tercekik ke usus tak okay ke ape kan. So aku kan ummi insecure wajiblah banyak pantang larang. Kalau ada rasa nak suap Adam Uwais, please tanya aku dulu. Jangan nak main suap tau. Penat ummi usung anak ummi ni 9 bulan, takkan sesekali ummi nak buat sambil lewa suap benda benda kurang berkhasiat dekat Adam ummi ni.

:)

Sebenarnya anak ummi ni cerewet. I wonder ikut siapa eh? *jeling suami, jeling diri sendiri* Entahlah aku pun tak pasti ikut siapa sebab as far as today aku dan suami memang makan je semua benda kecuali aku la tak makan sayur. HAHAHAHA em kay bab makan sayur tu aku mengaku dia ikut aku. Adam Uwais muntah bila Ibu Farah (pengasuh) dia suapkan brokoli. Lol. Wonder why kan? Dia pun tak suka carrot. Em em em. 

Dia punya fav buah-buahan tapi depends buah jugak okay. See? Even Ibu dia pun cakap anak kau ni Fatin pandai memilih makan. Kalau dia taknak dia kemam mulut dia. HIHI sorry Ibu entah tak tahu dia ikut perangai siapa :P

Adam Uwais sukakan buah Epal, Kiwi dan Pear. Tiga buah ni aku cuba Alhamdulillah dia sangat okay. Makan pun tak perang. Asyik sengih pastu siap voluenteer lagi buka mulut siap siap sebelum sempat Ummi cakap aaaa open your mouth. 

:')

Tapi kalau bagi dia pisang ke ubi ke hahaha mak ai reaksi muka dia macam ummi paksa makan ubat okay. 

Sekarang bubur nasi tapi kemain kalau bubur kosong taknak, dia reject. Nak berperisa. So ummi kena buat homework lebih sikit, goreng ikan bilis dan blender bagi halus. Pastu bagi makan. Haa sampai macam tu usaha ummi tau. Bubur uwais wajib lah no sugar no salt. Ummi taknak biasakan anak ummi dengan benda manis ke masin ke, kalau nak biarlah rasa natural. Contohnya macam bubur canpur serbuk ikan bilis yang ummi blender sendiri. Ha tu takpe.

Pastu lately ni suka sangat tidur awal pastu bangun balik. Amboi nak bangun qiam ke? Bangun qiam alhamdulillah ummi suka. Tapi ni bangun qiam konsert Maher Zain :') Ummi nak bangun amik susu pun nak buat konsert jugak. Tapi konsert rock sikit macam lagu Awie. Ummi bangun nak pergi toilet lagi la kuat konsertnya tau.

Susah la ada peminat fanatik ni. Insecure ummi rasa hihi tapi takpelah ummi tak kisah, ummi lagi suka anak ummi manja dengan ummi nak mengendeng dengan ummi. Ummi lagi sukaaaa. Hihi sebab ye lah anak ummi kan. Nanti dah besar sikit susah dah nak peluk ke ape sebab nak lari bagai kan, so appreciate the time right now. Peluk lah anak. Main dengan anak. Layan anak. Jangan nanti anak dah besar anak taknak layan kita.

Ummi insaf ni pun sebab ummi dengar satu ceramah ni. Ceramah dari the daily reminder. Jap ummi sharee.

Is Your Child Ignoring You? - Watch This! ᴴᴰ ┇ #ChildPsychology ┇ by Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan ┇ TDR ┇

Insaf okayy serious. Tak kisah la kalau ummi tak tidur pun ummi penat ke asalkan anak ummi tak rasa ummi tak hiraukan dia. Asalkan anak ummi tak rasa ummi abandon dia. 

Ingat anak ni amanah Allah. Allah pinjamkan dekat kita. Jagalah amanah ini elok-elok. Jangan sampai nanti anak dah jauh, kita baru terkial-kial nak kejar. Dah terlambat.

My kid doesn't talk to me

Yeah you don't talk to him

Okay nanti bab ni I'll come back to this. Saja nak tulis pasal ini dulu.

I'll write later after this. Xoxo please take care!

Amanah ummi kesayangan ummi dunia akhirat. 

Be Kind.

Assalamualaikum and Hi. 

How are you? Acewah kemain. Mentang mentang la tengah ajar BI konon nak speaking lah. Harineh Ummi takmau bebel pasal life Ummi as a student. I nak bebel bab lain.

Baik. Baik yang macam mana ye? Bagi aku, baiklah sesama manusia, sesama haiwan, sesama pokok sesama batu bata dan lain-lain lagi. Janji kita baik. 

Eh tak kenal pun dia. Kenapa nak kena baik pulak? Eh kami tak rapat pun. Kenapa still nak buat baik? Eh Uncle tu Chinese la, kenapa nak buat baik dengan dia?

Actually tak kisah pun umur ke bangsa ke warna kulit je apa apa lah janji kita ada niat nak baik dengan orang. Tak kisah la dia kaya ke jutawan ke ape kalau dah dia perlukan pertolongan kita apa salahnya kita tolong kan. Apa salahnya kita buat baik dengan orang.

Tambah pelajar macam aku. Kena rendah diri. Buat baik dengan orang. Bukan apa, nanti kalau kita susah kalau takda orang nak tolong jangan salahkan diorang pulak. Mungkin sikap kita sendiri yang dari awal tak suka membantu orang or berbuat baik dengan orang. 

Tak perlu tunggu sehingga orang minta tolong baru kita nak tolong. Tak perlu pun nak kena sama course baru nak buat baik. Tak perlu tunggu dah jadi cikgu baru nak berbaik dengan cikgu lain. Tak Tak perlu tunggu orang baik dengan kita dulu, then baru kita nak buat baik balik. Tak perlu semua tu.

Apa kata kita sendiri yang start berbuat baik dengan orang? Kita senyum dengan orang. Kita berkongsi maklumat dengan orang. Kita cakap elok elok dengan orang. 

Trust me. Try. Chill.

Mesti kita akan rasa lega. Kita akan rasa hati tak stress. Hidup tak stress. Sebab kita tenang. Sebab kita positif. Kita buat baik dengan orang.

Prinsip aku senang. Buat baik dengan orang walaupun orang hadiahkan tahi buat kita lol.

Kalau dalam Islam sendiri ada Kifarah. So. obviously dunia ni bulat. Kadang kita atas kadang kita bawah kan? 

Terpulanglah kepada diri sendiri macam mana kita nak hadap, macam mana kita nak react dengan orang sebab yang nak tanggung nya kita, yang nak rasa bahagia nya kita.

Aku tak paksa orang buat baik dengan aku. Ni cuma pandangan aku sahaja. Lol.

Paling penting.

Till then, take care!

24 hours Ummi & Student

Assalamualaikum and Hi.

My son

Your eyes give me the will to fight back, even when everything goes off-track. 

Your hugs give me a reason to smile, even when problems pile. 

Your love is what keeps me going, it is what keeps my heart beating

Actually tadi aku nak buat refleksi selepas mengajar tapi entah kenapa aku end up tang sini? DASARR PENCURI MASAAAA hahaha em kay sambunglah. Semua sihat ke? Aku rasa aku makin sihat dengan makanan yang tak berapa sihat seperti KFC drive thru maggie ayam maggie kari maggie tomyam dan sebagainya............

Mesti akan cakap eh duduk rumah kan? Takkan tak sempat masak? Kan ada dapur bagai. Tell you what.....Living in a house with a 5 months cheeky baby akan buatkan hampa semua kelam kabut even nak ke toilet pun aku tak fully tutup pintu sebab insecure anak menangis nanti aku tak dengar. Rasa macam geli kan? HAHAHA wait until you've become a mom, it'll be worse than that lol 

So.......

How's life? Mesti, Actually ramai jugak yang pm aku whatsapp aku call aku asking me how am I doing? Can I cope with life? Tak penat ke? Tak rasa nak quit ke?

Even lecturer pun concern :') You know who you are Madam. 

Awak dah jadi mak. Kena la kuat macam Mak. 

Sejak aku dapat berita aku kena sambung balik pengajian setahun setengah aku dekat IPG yang sama, aku lost sekejap. Nangis pun ada. Fikir. Aku nak bawak anak ke nak tinggal anak ke. Rasa sedih. Rasa burden. Mungkin tak nampak luaran, aku macam acewah kekonon kuat tapi jujurnya deep down aku rasa aku tak kuat and tak mampu nak hadap. Tapi aku tak sampai hati nak berpisah dengan anak. 

Orang boleh cakap eleh tinggal je lah anak tu. G sambung belajar. Tak lama pun setahun setengah. Kalau dah terpaksa takkan nak bawak anak? Okay mungkin lain orang lain pendapat tau. Tapi bagi aku biarlah susah senang aku tanggung, Biarlah anak meragam sampai aku tak tidur dan esoknya aku kelas pun, biarlah. Aku okay. Aku taknak susahkan orang lain jaga anak aku, even husband ada cakap boleh tinggalkan anak dekat mak mentua, I definitely said No. 

Tunggulah bila dah jadi mak. Lain rasanya. Nalurinya lain. Kita tak akan pernah boleh berpisah jauh dengan anak, especially kalau anak kita fully breastfeed baby. Even aku keluar beli barang and tinggal Uwais kat mak, tangan ni laju je bukak Gallery bukak video dia bukak gambar. Trust me, I am one pathetic insecure Ummi yang akan rasa lain macam kalau anak jauh dari dia. Plus I am one protective mother yang tak boleh kalau ada orang bawak anak dia jejauh dari dia. Trust me, I'll hunt you forever. Hihi sebab apa? Sebab itu anak. I've gave birth to him. Perit sakit bersalin pun belum habis tau T.T

Memula, eleh tipu lah kalau tak drama setiap kali husband datang and time nak hantar husband balik, wajib ada drama autumn in my heart, aku ulang drama autumn in my heart. Sebab apa? Entah, Aku kekonon macam dah kuat ah sikit sebab hampir sebulan dah duduk berdua dengan baby tapi setiap kali hantar husband dekat ktm mesti leleh jugak tapi tak boleh leleh lama ada anak nak kena jaga.

Masa first week time tu baby macam tak biasa lagi. Aku rasa dia pun dapat sense mana ayah? Mana tokmak? Mana tokabah? Mana semua orang? Apehal aku dengan ummi je? Indeed awal dulu Uwais banyak jugak meragam. Taknak tidur. Bayangkan setiap hari aku kelas sampai 5 and kelas start pukul 8, tapi aku end up akan tidur pukul 3 something. Mula mula aku ada terfikir nak give up. Nak hantar Uwais balik Kedah. Sebab aku rasa macam burden. Jahat kan aku fikir macam tu? Aku marah husband sebab aku rasa macam dia tak berusaha nak dapatkan kerja area sini. Aku rasa nak marah semua orang sebab takde sapa faham apa aku rasa. Takde sapa faham penat aku. 

Ps ni cerita betul and tujuan aku jujur sebab aku nak jadikan benda ni pengajaran. Aku rasa geram sangat dengan Uwais. Padehal time tu Uwais baby and taktau apa apa. I am such a bad ummi T_T

Sehinggalah. aku dikejutkan dengan berita salah seorang kawan aku kehilangan suaminya buat selama-lamanya. Takziah sayang, you know who you are. Time tu aku tergamam. Aku rasa macam ya Allah. Semua ni hanya pinjaman dariNya. Kalau aku asyik end up tak bersyukur, aku rasa benda ni membebankan, what if Allah tarik balik pinjamanNya?

Terus aku peluk and cium Uwais. Aku menangis. Aku rasa macam teruknya aku. Tak patut aku fikir mcm tu. Patutnya aku kena matang, aku kena kuat. Bukannya aku asyik nak salahkan orang. Anak aku tak salah. Husband tak salah. Semua orang tak salah. Yang salahnya aku, aku yang tak pandai nak adapt. Orang lain tunggu sampai 8 tahun nak anak, aku dah ada anak, aku rasa benda tu beban. 

Alhamdulillah I've changed to be better after that. Aku dah tak rasa nak marah ke nak mengamuk ke instead aku dah enjoy dengan keadaan aku sekarang. Aku lupa. Aku ada Allah. Aku ada suami aku. Aku ada keluarga dan kawan-kawan aku. Paling penting, aku ada Muhammad Adam Uwais, my cheeky little bambam. 

Aku balik kelas dan amik dia dari pengasuh, dia akan tersenyum sengih dan gelak macam yey ummi dah balik nak amik aku. I'm typing this while crying haha dasar mak mak. Ketahuilah, apapun jadi anak tetap penawarnya. Uwais senyum pun dah boleh buat aku lupa betapa penatnya aku dengan kelas. My son needs me to be strong, to always be there for him, to cheer him up. to be with him.

Tak patut pun aku nak marahkan Uwais. Uwais taktau apa apa. 

Yang dia tahu aku Ummi dia, aku protector dia. Aku yang dia cari kalau dia nak susu. Aku yang dia cari kalau dia nak tidur. Dia perlukan aku. He needs me to be a fit mother, to love and care for him. So, I must be the mother that he needs. Aku perlu kuat. Aku perlu sabar. Paling penting, aku perlu ada untuk dia untuk setiap saat yang aku ada, sebab he's my son and I love him so much. 

Dan Uwais macam faham aku Ummi yang sibuk. Dia tak banyak ragam, ada la ragam tapi tak lama pun. Dia cuma nak perhatian. Aku dah berjaya train dia tidur lepas maghrib. Sebelum maghrib tu memamg aku tak buat apa apa, aku tumpukan perhatian dekat dia. Main dengan dia. gelak dengan dia. Dia happy. Aku lagilah happy. Haha again nangis sebab rasa macam phew ni lah kekuatan aku dekat sini. Cara dia pandang aku, pegang aku, macam Ummi I love you, please take care of me. 

:')

And paling penting.

Sebab aku tahu years after this, aku akan tersenyum bangga seeing how am I doing. Aku akan rasa manisnya dalam dugaan. Aku tahu good things will come after. I just have to be patient and do well. Doakan aku gais. Doakan aku diberi kekuatan dan kesabaran dalam menempuh liku liku kehidupan acewahh. Doakan Uwais ikut muka aku sikit :P Okay merepek haha ye lahh aku dah redha Uwais ikut muka husband, ye lah namapun ayah dia kan? lol

So aku rasa takat tu je aku nak bebel hehe aku nak tulis reflection ni, nak siapkan kerja siap siap so that weekend nanti boleh tumpukan perhatian dekat Uwais. Kesian anak ummi, kasih terpaksa dibahagikan antara anak dengan rph lol ( teacher will definitely get this )

Till then, take care!

Pregnancy Diaries - Part 2

Assalamualaikum and Hi! 

Since harineh Uwais jadi good boy, eh anak Ummi memang good boy kan? Aminnnn. Since Uwais tidur awal and Ummi tak boleh tidur, Ummi nak sambung cerita Ummi.

Since I've decided to go home instead of just waiting at the Hospital. The next day I've decided to go to Amanjaya Specialist Centre and I've requested Doctor Halimah as my Doc so yes, she checked my opening and clearly stated that its 3cm okay 3cm! Then she gave me the date when she'll help me to deliver my baby, she's gonna break my water. HAHAHA em pecahkan air ketuban. 

Then I went home to relax and prepare mentally and physically, because its only 4 day gap. I ate a lot actually during those days. I've requested Laksa & Pulut ikan kering, trust me before delivering PLEASE ATE as much as you can as after that the only delicious meal will be Ikan Masak Asam, Ayam Bakar, Ikan Masak Halia, Ayam Masak Halia bla bla those stuffs especially using Ginger and also Blackpaper. 

Then, on Monday morning after performing Subooh plus reciting Surah Maryam, I ate my Nasi Lemak and went to a war. HAHA k no we went straight to the Hospital and I was taken to the Labor Room. As requested by Mum and advises from Doc Halimah, I've taken the Epidural because both of them have managed to psycho me with this sakit beranak lulz. Mum be like "hang tak tau sakit nak beqanak ni sakit taktau nak habaq" and Doc be like "sakit anak sulung tak sama macam sakit anak yang seterusnya" okay okay I'll take it but trust me sakit weh cucuk Epidural pun! Please Google or YouTube in case you wanna see how it is done.

Then....... the waiting time. Its painful to wait actually hihi. As I was taking Epidural I don't feel any pain, just yet. So I slept the whole morning HIHI until 5pm.

The Nurses changed their shift so new Nurses came and one Mak Bidan. I forgot her name but she's so cute and nice! She said that she wanted to stop my Epidural to let me feel the pain, as if I can't feel the pain how I'm gonna push. Okay I forgot to tell all of you that starting 5pm after she stopped my Epidural, I'VE STARTED TO FEEL THE PAIN, even its only 6cm openings. Betoi cakap Mak wey sakit taktau nak habaq. Tinggai tak terjun katil!

Then, at 8pm Doc Halimah came in and checked me, its only 7cm openings and she gave time until 12am, as after that if my openings didn't progress I'll have to Caesar. I was so worried at that time, so I talked to my baby telling him to come out as it is safe here and I'm gonna protect him till my last breath, so does my Husband. He's been there for me since I went into the Labor Room. We both talked to our baby telling him to come out.

Then, I started to feel more pain. I can't describe the pain but trust me no wonder Syurga itu terletak di bawah tapak kaki Ibu, sudah cukup untuk aku menceritakan betapa sakitnya saat saat aku nak melahirkan seorang Khalifah ke muka bumi ini. My hubby has said that I've slapped him and punch him when I'm in pain, but trust me I can't remember any of that.

1145 pm I just can't hold it anymore. It was too painful. tinggai tak terjun katil ja dia punya sakit tu so Mak Bidan came and checked my openings. Alhamdulillah Allah Maha Mendengar doa para hambaNya. 9cm already and I'm ready to push. Phew!

Honestly, I didn't remember how to push as the pain is more important to me at that time HAHA then Doc Halimah came in, so does the other Nurses. All of them cheered for me.

Push Fatin push!

I just can't. Time tu rasa sebak pun ada sebab dah lembik semacam. Macam mana tak lembik, the last time I ate was 8am earlier this morning.

But I didn't give up, I gave my all. I tried to push with all my strength. Then suddenly Doc Halimah took my hand and said, let me give you one reason for you to push harder. Then I touch.

ALLAH. ITS MY SON's HAIRRRRR awhhhh I was so energized right after that plus I've been psycho by her once again.

Awak tak sayang anak awak.

5 words in one simple sentence. Ouch. I do love my baby, Doc. I've carried him for 9 months and plus! I didn't realize how and when I've pushed when out of a sudden.

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *baby's crying*

Allah. My son is in front of me. Right in front of me. Crying. My son that has been kicking me in my Tummy. The one that Allah gave to me and my husband as His' Pinjaman.

I was. Okay. I was crying. Happy. Glad. Joy. Every sweet words. 

Dia punya tahap gembira dan takjub sampaikan Doc Halimah tengah jahit pun tak rasa sakit apa dah. 

:')

So, there's few advises:-

1) PLEASE, if you think that you can bear the pain, don't take Epidural as actually it'll make the opening progress becomes a bit slow as the Mummy can't feel the pain.

2) PLEASE eat. This is serious. Please eat to make sure that you'll the energy to push.

3) PLEASE learn how to push and remember the steps. HIHI

I do think that is all that I wanted to share.

Muhammad Adam Uwais bin Mohd Zamzuri, buah hati Ummi & Ayah. We love you,Son.

Till then, take care! ❤

This is Part 1. 

Pregnancy Diaries - Part 1

Assalamualaikum and Hi! 

*flips shawl* *Uwais tengah tidur* *Please Uwais let me finish this post first then you wake up* *pinky promise*

Sambil mendengar lagu fav dari dulu kini selamalamamamanya A Thousand Years sambil hirup milo panas. Fuh what a lifeee. Wah gituwwww! *sambil earphone pakai sebelah in case Uwais bangun*

Okay now as for the title saja kemain buat tajuk sebab I want to share my experience with all of my readers! Pftttt ada ke orang baca? HIHI okay jangan lari tajuk but seriously, this is kind of my online diary so why not I write it?

Actually, I've been warded about 10 days before I get to deliver this Prince Cinonet. Lots of tears were felt during that time, but not many people know as I choose to be secret and not replying all kinds of message whatsapp and call muahaha *evil laugh* but seriously, I didn't know that pregnancy plus delivering hormone can be sooooooooo nah I don't know how to describe it but I tell ya one call can make me cried a whole day all night long. By then I choose to be silent.

On the first day of my many days in the Ward, Doctor A (after this, there will be many names so please bear with me together) told me that I've had opening about 1cm,  even at that time I went to the Hospital because I don't feel so right, some kind of having a fever. I honestly told ya that I'm not physically and mentally ready actually as I'm only 35 weeks plus coming for 36 weeks. They gave me something aaa I can't remember the terms, but it helps to make my baby's lung to become ready in case he wants to get out and see the world. 

Then the next day, Doctor B came and he asked me to take this medicine that actually making my contraction become slower, hence sort of like preventing the baby from coming out. I do think that he's making the right decision, but my contraction was getting stronger and I do feel pain like serious pain that can make you cry in your sleep but in front of others, I'm the strongest girl of all. 

Third day, Doctor C came and asked me in serious face why are you taking pills that preventing the baby from coming out? Your contraction is strong. And I was like.............. How would I know, Doc? I'm only a patient. Then, he asked me to stop taking the medicine immediately, thus telling the nurses that I will proceed to the labor room if I'm having so much pain.

The next day, okay seriously four days sleeping in the ward will make your emotional changes I tell you (maybe I was the only one) but hey, I just can't so I've asked the Doctor to discharge me, the Doc told me that I can go home if my opening didn't make any progress so they checked and yes...no progress at all. I went home with having contraction pain.

Then, I was so happy plus positively thinking that my baby wants more time to sleep in my tummy so I rest my case and trying not to think about it. Eventually I've bleeding plus the baby seems not moving much. As a first time parent plus mummy, of course I'm worried so we (My hubby and I) went to the Hospital AGAIN to check my baby. Hey, I carried it for almost 9 months, of course I'm worried if anything ever happen so don't ask why I keep going to the Hospital. I've met Doctor D and told me that I've had 2 cm openings so I can't go home. I was...... Please Doc, I want to go home, I'll take all the risks *Puss in Boot's eyes* No you can't, what if you deliver on your way of going home or coming to the Hospital? So then I've warded AGAIN. (I just came home, then warded again)

To be fast, the ninth day I met Doctor B again (Please read above if you forgot who's Doctor B) and Doctor B told me that my opening was only 2cm........ Okay to be true, after I heard that I quickly went into the Toilet and cried like a child who lost his mom, but in my case a new mom that was waiting eagerly for her baby but can't have it yet. Why I was crying badly? BECAUSE 3 days before all the Doctor who checked me told me that my opening was making progress like from 2cm getting to 3cm and last night before I've checked and my opening was almost 4cm. When it is 4cm, I will be pushed to the labor room to deliver. So I'm happy because there is only 1cm only to wait, then I get to be in the labor room, my time of seeing my baby is getting nearer. 

I called my Hubby and asked him to come to the Hospital quick so that he can take me home. I can't bear this anymore. As firstly I was hurt because I've taken medicine that preventing my baby from coming out, hence the same person telling me that I can't have my baby yet. So.... yes, I am emotionally and physically drained and tired and I just can't see his face anymore (Doctor B). To take me home, my hubby and I have to meet Doctor B and asked him to let me go home as according to the policy 2cm of openings can go home. Then he asked if I feel pain again, would I come to them? I was smiling, but deep down in my heart no please , I've had enough.

Okay, that's all for my Pregnancy plus delivering diaries PART 1. PART 2 is the part when I was the labor room waiting to meet my baby.

Till then, take care! ❤